Relationships and Love (Confusing Things)

Gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh and bring it back now y'all with one more gosh. 

Lately I've had such a want for a relationship, but not for the status-symbol type of way. Like, the only way I can describe is feeling an emptiness in my heart, like there's something missing. This emptiness doesn't feel like the bad type though, I think it's just a resounding feeling of idleness.
      I don't know, sometimes I just really want someone to experience all the beauty the world has with, to laugh about memes and random ass shit with, to cuddle and hold, to talk about the scary things and the things in the world that need to change, and maybe, ya know like make-out with for 4+ hours.
     But whenever I think of this, I'm also reminded that like yo, I don't need a significant other (as this lil lady is bisexual/pansexual) to do all those things, I can do all those things with myself (except ya know making-out and cuddling, which I mean I suppose I could press my face up against a mirror, but like that really ain't my jam (BUT NO JUDGEMENT IF THAT'S YOURS BBY)). If a relationship happens to happen, that's totally fantastic, but I think it's important to know that it's just as wonderful to do all relationship-ey things with yourself. Why are so many things romanticized as only relationship activities, and when someone does something nice for themselves, like buy themselves flowers or chocolate or take themselves out to a movie, everyone's ableist and pretentious as hell as is like "YOU ARE SUCCCCHHHH A NARCISSIST". Why does society enforce that we have to have someone else to treat us nice, as if we were not allowed to be able to do that for ourselves. Date yourself dammit! It's vital, I think, to love doing those things that society romanticizes as ONLY COUPLE THINGZ (which is super alienating to the ace community too) with yourself before going into a relationship too, so after you get out of a relationship, the memories of it don't corrode the activities y'all did together. I need to learn to love myself and just do me before I share myself with another, because I don't want to lose myself in someone entirely.

I think the synopsis of this whole spiel is that loving another (or others ) is a beautiful thing, but loving yourself is just as important and should have more importance in society, because you deserve to have love for yourself come from yourself because you are the thing that's with you forever, and if marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment of love, why can't we all make a life long commitment of love to ourselves?

This ramble of thoughts has been brought to you by this lady,

all my love to ya, and as always my DMs are always open on Twitter and Instagram if you need to talk (seriously, if you ever need to hit me up), or wanna rant about the kyriarchy.

- t.c,

P.S. BUY A DIAMOND RING, GET DOWN ON THAT KNEE AND SAY "hello myself, let's get married because I am a heck of a load fine inside and out." AND MARRY YOUR LOVELY SELF MM YES